It is the last day of 2019, and I have spent the day decluttering like a woman possessed. Or a woman about to move house. I am neither, but I have been seized by the urge to get rid of clutter. The rubbish and recycling bins piled up outside my back door are a testament to the success of my day. I could have carried on all night. I know I won’t stop now, there are drawers, cupboards, wardrobes and whole rooms that need to be decluttered.
A clutter free, clean home feels achievable! And I know I need it. My mind is far calmer when my house is tidy.
2019 is the year I let go of the need to have lots of stuff in my life.
I’ve done a fair bit of decluttering of my life this year as well.
A brief attempt at a relationship at the start of the year ended when I realised how many ‘red flags’ I had been ignoring. I knew I had some work to do on my emotional health. I had not had to face ‘relationship’ emotions since I stopped drinking. Unable to numb them, they hit me hard for a few weeks.
Recognising this as a powerful opportunity for growth, I embraced the discomfort, and worked through it. The website 750words.com, a space where I write daily, and my breath practices became my therapy program. I healed myself through thousands of words and breaths. I breathed and wrote my way to self esteem, forgiveness, and self love. With self compassion, I took a very close, brutally honest look at my self. I did a lot of decluttering of past relationship patterns. I am seeing the benefit of this deep work already!
2019 was the year I let go of the idea that I am not good enough for any man, that I have to settle for less than I deserve.
An official ADHD diagnosis in October has brought with it many emotional challenges. But it has allowed me to let go of much shame and self loathing about things I used to see as my many faults. My brain is wired somewhat differently from ‘normal’ brains. This is not a moral failing of mine. It is not a sign that I am lazy, flighty, unmanageable, thoughtless or any of the other things I have been accused of throughout my life. It is challenging to learn how to manage my brain now, but I am taking steps and finding support in Facebook groups for ADHD women in particular.
2019 is the year I let go of the idea that there is something ‘wrong’ with me, and that I am not good enough.
There is lots more that I have let go of this year. And today, I have had a wonderful time letting go of the mess, clutter and rubbish that has been littering my home.
Any day is a good day to let go of the past and create space for the new. What are you letting go of as we leave 2019 and move into 2020?
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